Jenny McQueen

When I close my eyes to think back to that doctors office where I found out I was pregnant with twins, I can literally remember every tiny detail. I hear the conversation in the exam room next door, see the way the OB was holding the folder when she walked in, feel the mask I was wearing because it was May 2020…I have never experienced a moment where my life pivoted so quickly. But first I want to tell you what landed me in her office to begin with.

When Rome and I decided that we wanted to start “trying”, a phrase that cracks me up every time, I knew the results would be beyond our control. I have so many friends who have struggled with infertility, plus at 35, I was apparently old in the world of pregnancy. Advanced maternal age, they say. Insert the world’s biggest eye roll.

The internet has all types of things to tell women about preparing for pregnancy; workouts, diets, supplements, the list goes on. Honestly, I felt like we had done SO much work around just making the choice to start a biological family, during a pandemic no less, that I didn’t want to fixate on food, or controlling my body at all. I made an appointment to have my IUD removed, tracked through a full cycle, and marked an ovulation date on the calendar.

About a week after “trying” (😂😂😂 ) I started noticing some really strong smells in the house. Why I didn’t connect the dots, I’ll never know, but I didn’t. I demanded to know why Rome used bleach in the dishwasher, because I was convinced all the bowls smelled like bleach. (Why was I smelling the bowls? unclear. ) I could smell the allegedly unscented laundry detergent on our sheets when I went to sleep. The final straw was sitting at my desk, teaching a high school photo class on zoom, and y’all, I could SMELL the air conditioner kick in. That’s when it dawned on me…maybe this was an early pregnancy symptom.

I added a pregnancy test to my first ever target drive up order that afternoon, and tried to convince myself to be patient. I was going to wait until what would be the first day of my cycle, but that resolve didn’t even last till I walked in the door. I went straight the the bathroom, peed on the stick and…messed the first one up; results unclear. I guess this is why they come in a two pack? I grabbed the second one and the results popped up “yes+” long before the timer went off; I know now that those hormones were going STRONG.

I was so excited I could hardly breathe, and luckily I had already decided how I wanted to tell Rome the news. I had a friend ship me a Dad joke book (so he wouldn’t see it on our amazon account), and it had been stashed in a drawer waiting for this moment. I grabbed a gift bag, shoved it in with some tissue paper, and went into the office to tell him.

This part cracks me up; he opened the bag and said “aww thanks babe!”, apparently thinking I’d gotten it just for fun. I stood there staring at him, waiting for him to catch on, and then pulled the pregnancy test out of my sleeve. He scooped me up in the most giant bear hug, and we spent the rest of the night celebrating and talking about how excited we were.

We decided that we wanted to keep the news to ourself for awhile. Since this was early may of 2020, it was pretty easy to avoid social situations. We enjoyed our little bubble, and spent tons of time talking about our little secret. About 10 days later, however, I started feeling pretty sick…and then the heavy spotting started.

I have a lot of close friends who have experienced pregnancy loss, so when I started spotting, I had a sinking feeling that I was miscarrying. I tried not to stress, but in reality I was checking every five minutes to see if the bleeding had stopped. I now understand why some women say they didn’t know they were pregnant; this was definitely more than what the internet said it “should” be. It stayed consistent, and since this was on a friday evening, so I couldn’t really do much unless I wanted to go to the ER. Covid was raging, so I most definitely did NOT want to do that.

For prenatal care I had planned to go with a birthing center, but after talking to their midwife about my bleeding, they said I needed to be seen for an ultrasound, and seeing an OBGYN was the fastest route. I spent most of the weekend in bed, anxiously waiting for 8:00 am Monday morning as the spotting continued.

I called the women’s center closest to our house, and they scheduled me for Tuesday afternoon with the first available OB. At this point, I had convinced myself that I was no longer pregnant, and started bracing for bad news. By 2 pm Tuesday, I felt mentally prepared for whatever the doctor was going to tell me.

I sat through the transvaginal ultrasound (not fun), and of course the tech was professional. She didn’t give any hint of a reaction, or let me see the screen. I headed into the exam room to wait.

It felt like I stopped breathing when the Doctor opened the door. She walked in, introduced herself and said didn’t waste a moment: “You are very much still pregnant; did you know you’re having twins?”

Long pause.

She started to say more but in my utter shock and acting on instinct, I peeled my hands from over my masked mouth, found my words again and said “stop; I have to call my husband.” I couldn’t keep this moment to myself for another second.

I put him in speaker phone, and he picked up first ring. “Babe, are you sitting down?’ “yes…” “Not only am I pregnant…we’re having twins”

Rome’s response sums up everything I love about him: the words were not even out of my mouth before he was yelling “YESSSSSSSS!” as the doctors eyes got wide. She said that isn’t most partners responses, (and that’s so valid), but going from a very much wanted pregnancy, to thinking we weren’t pregnant, to we are having TWO? Pure. Joy.

At this point time sped back up and honestly the rest of the conversation, both with Rome and the doctor, is a total blur. She said something about needing to see me in ten days, gave me some suggestions for dealing with the slotting and then I floated out of that office in such a fog that I forgot to grab the ultrasound photos.

I’m amazed I was able to find my way the two miles back to our bouse. I could not wrap my mind around this; TWO. Babies??

One of my favorite memories in our relationship will forever be walking in the front door after that appointment. The hugs, laughter, disbelief and more laughter. We felt like the two luckiest people on earth. Or maybe I should say four.